Sunday, February 1, 2009

This is the Super Bowl live blog. No promises that it'll last the entire game or give particularly interesting insight (be it of the game, the commercials, halftime, etc.). Try to endure.

-Ok, the game is already going. The NFC team (Arizona) won the coin toss. This is only significant because it is the 12th straight year that the NFC team has done so. There is some kind of statistical probability of that happening that you could calculate if you'd like to do so. Pittsburgh kicked a field goal. This guy kicked it (seriously):



-Speaking of Jeff Reed, a quick Google search of his name will give you much, much more to see. Ironically enough, Jeff Reed was also the name a catcher for the Pittsburgh Pirates who had a great beard. Now it's the name of a dyed-hair freak that kicks footballs for Pittsburgh and has trouble keeping his clothes on in public.

-Troy Polamalu looks even more like a psycho when he's having a contact lens put in his eye by a trainer.

-The commercials so far have not been particularly great. That'll happen, especially when Doritos is involved. Ok, Conan O'Brien just showed up in a Bud Light commercial, so life is much better. Too bad it's Bud Light. Not even Conan can make that stuff seem tasty.

-Conan O'Brien was also on the NBC Pregame show. It was entertaining, but that is probably the least-surprising thing that will happen today. The pregame coverage was extensive and interesting at times. Of course, NBC managed to incorporate Al Roker into the fun as he conducted the most pointless/awkward interviews ever with big huge starts like Vin Diesel and The Rock (back to back, no less). Those two guys might be the same person, except The Rock actually answers questions. Vin Diesel moves his lips and noise comes out of his mouth, but doesn't really say anything, be it the answer to a question or otherwise. Ah, there's a Fast and Furious 4 commercial just to reinforce.

-End of the 1st Quarter. Arizona's defense doesn't look very good, but they've managed to only allow 3 points. If they only allow 3 more on this possession, they should be happy.

-No such luck for the Cardinals' defense. 10-0, Steelers. That's roughly one point for each reference to Ben Roethlisburger being nervous during his previous Super Bowl appearance. Give it a rest.

-What better advertisement to show during tough economic times than MarquisJet, the leading provider of private jet services. Everyone needs one of those cards, just like on Entourage.

-This one-man Super Bowl party idea isn't so terrible. This arrangement allows for full extension on the couch, nobody hogging the Pringles, no idle chatter (not always a bad thing), no distractions, etc. Also, this live blog actually exists because nobody else is here. It's a weird way of socially interacting, even though nobody will be reading any of this until later, if at all.

-It'll also be nice at halftime to not worry about offending anyone with the decision to flip repeated between Bruce Springsteen performing at the game and Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet.

-Lots of movie previews so far in the commercials. Maybe film companies are the only people that can afford the ads this time around. So far there's been G.I. Joe, Star Trek, Angels and Demons, Land of the Lost and the aforementioned Fast and the Furious 4.

-Barack Obama was interviewed by Matt Lauer on the pregame show. It was pretty good stuff, except he made it sound like this economic stimulus plan was just as American and timeless as the Super Bowl. With the stimulus plan, the US government could buy approximately 47 seconds of Super Bowl advertising time. Ok, that's no good math, but whatever.

-This Super Bowl is sorely missing Bud Bowl, just as the past twelve have been. It's almost as missed as MTV's "Rock N Jock" sports challenges. Those were great.

-Halftime. That interception return right before the half was quite impressive and might give an indication why James Harrison was this year's NFL Player of the Year. Love or hate the Steelers, that was a great effort. 17-7.

-So Springsteen is on. The Max Weinburg Seven are playing with the E Street Band, joining their leader, who of course is the original E Street Band drummer. That couldn't have anything to do with NBC being this year's broadcaster could it? Bruce is going completely insane during this performance. He's already dry-humped his mic stand for an extended period of time and slid crotch-first into a camera man. They're playing "Born To Run" right now, though, so all is forgiven.

-Commercial update: How does a local contractor specializing in foam insulation for houses get an ad on the Super Bowl? If anyone has an answer, please enlighten. Maybe the local NBC affiliates get a few slots to use for their sponsors? That's the only imaginable scenario, right?

-Way to go James Harrison! You have managed to follow up your amazing play at the end of the 1st half by looking like a complete goon here in the 4th quarter. As impressive as the other play was, his version of punt defense is far more disgusting. A complete lack of professionalism is hard to live to live down. Just look at Ray Lewis. As previously discussed in this blog, everyone knows he's an amazing player, but everyone also knows he might be a murderer, so it's hard to cheer for him. Not that James Harrison is a possible murderer, but he could be another Terrell Owens, who somehow manages to stay out of legal trouble despite showing terrible decision-making skills on a regular basis.

-Update: the punt where James Harrison attempted to set human civilization back several thousand years led to Pittsburgh getting the ball inside their own 1 yard line. That awful field position led to a safety. Karma perhaps?

-Karma prevails. James Harrison just got a wonderful view of Larry Fitzgerald outrunning him to score the go-ahead touchdown for the Cardinals. Too perfect. Now Arizona's defense needs to step up.

-Santonio Holmes catches everything. Do not ever Google "Santonio Holmes + shower". Ever. If you've already Google'd "Jeff Reed", just know there is so much more of Santonio to see. Thanks to the internet, even you can see multiple members of the Steelers in unique ways. Thanks to internet sports blogs, we all know this. Thanks Deadspin!

-Ok, he missed that one.

-Ok, on the very next play, he probably earned the right to say he's going to Disney World (a tradition reserved for the MVP of the Super Bowl).

-So, the game is over. So is that can of Spaghetti-O's. So is that stack of Pringles. The Steelers won. Somehow it surely had to be because of Jerome "The Bus" Bettis. Either way, for the game to end on a play where Kurt Warner failed is a huge disappointment. The Puppy Bowl will also be ending now. Thankfully, Animal Planet is replaying it until 4am tonight (no, really). The great experiment of watching the Super Bowl alone has ended. Conclusions? Eh, whatever. Let's watch The Office.

1 comment:

Patrick Copeland said...

Your post about the Super Bowl was more in-depth than mine was. Seriously.