President Oprah and her friends Barry and Michelle couldn't quite squeeze the Olympics out of, uh, the Olympic committee. Those rude Olympics people should be ashamed of themselves for not indulging the most important person in the world, not to mention the President of the United States. It really shouldn't come as a surprise that a panel of foreign dignitaries weren't so impressed with Chicago's main endorser being a TV star. Isn't the idea of a TV star who is constantly linked to bizarre weight-loss schemes sorta the antithesis for the pure athletic competition the Olympics are supposed to embody? Sure, Oprah is an easily recognizable media personality in this country, but it's doubtful that Sydney rested their hopes in 2000 on Crocodile Dundee's influence. However, the Olympic committee had to be appreciative for the free juicer and Desperate Housewives DVD they got just for being in Oprah's audience in Copenhagen.

Wait, that last paragraph ended up being a jab at this country's self-imposed media monarchy. That can't be right. Or maybe it is. If a country relies more on coked-out musicians and reality-deprived actors for its political opinions, there is no reason to think that the same country wouldn't think a TV talk show host is clearly the best person to bring the Olympics to the city from where she just so happens to broadcast. Do you think there could have been some ulterior motive for Oprah in bringing the Olympics to Chicago? Maybe a week or two of special shows where she runs around in a USA tracksuit and eats those little gymnast girls?

Well, there's another paragraph about the failed bid for the Olympics. Remember, we lost. Just imagine if Chicago had finished third. Or second. Or, God forbid, won. It would be the ObamaOprahOlympic Games. Well, maybe not. The games aren't until 2016 and at the current rate, Obama will still be trying to convince members of his own party that he has all the answers for healthcare reform. That's also assuming he is reelected. The ever-influential medium of bumper stickers has already started playing a role in that once-believed foregone conclusion.

So, is Obama kinda like Prince now? Has it come to the point where the President of the United States has been branded by a logo? Of course, the last president was simplified to just a letter. Will future presidents be identified by just a color? A punctuation mark? An abstract thought? How will that translate to car bumpers?

So anyway, back to the Olympics. Since the summer of '16 will belong to Rio, the clever advertising people are left with only two choices for how to brand the last letter of "Chicago" for the time-being. Obviously the Olympics felt like they already had enough O's in their life.