A trip to the mall is always an excellent way to find out exactly where you fit in with the mainstream. So many people with so many purposes creates a unique Petri dish of American society, culture and consumerism. Even if there isn't a commerical purpose for a visit, the purpose can be to simply be around such a wide swath of people. It's the type of thing that keeps blogs such as this going during the lean times.

Among today's observations/blog fodder:

-The guy with the stroller. It remains one of the world's great mysteries why people must be completely irrational when children enter the equation. Maybe this is only a mystery to those not blessed with children, but it seems unlikely that proud parents could possibly be proud of their own behavior. One parent thought it socially acceptable to leave his child in a stroller and walk about 10 feet away to check out the on-sale rack. Of course the child starts squealing loudly, so after a few squeals, dad of the year leans toward the child and says something like "Maddylynsyn, please quiet down", which miraculously quiets the child for a bit. Once dad gets back to the stroller, he starts steering it toward me. I was trying to get out of the aisle, but was between two tables. As he realized this and we make eye contact, he started jerking the stroller further into my path, at which point the only way to avoid was to push against a table and side-step the oncoming stroller. Instinctively, a look was given that I try not to give often, but in this case, it definitely sent the "I know you were once cool, but now you're spending your weekend afternoons at the mall with your wife and baby, browsing the clearance items and being annoying" message. The "confrontation" might have continued, but he was quickly summoned by his baby-mama to verify that the dress she was trying on was too short.

-The kid in the bookstore. The bookstore is a personal favorite part of the mall because bookstores serve as a microcosm of the mall as a whole, which serves as a microcosm of society in general. Most people can find something they're interested in at the bookstore. This is because most people can read, or at the very least, look at pictures. There's also food at the bookstore, which is always a winner. Again, the highlight involved a young boy and his dad. The boy was picking up random books and asking his dad what it was called and what it was about. I didn't hear what the title of one book was, but the boy's response was "that's what Mommy always says she's doing". My mind immediately imagined the possibilities as to what the title could possibly be, especially since the dad gave a chuckle after hearing his son's statement. For better or worse, the title of the book was Housekeeping, which was far less enjoyable than if the title had been something like Binge Drinking or Destroying the Environment.

-The line at the Apple store. This was my first observation coming into the mall. Everyone was still lined up for their new iPhone, which would be nice to have, but not at the risk of being written about in a terrible blog in the process. It was a fairly motley crew waiting patiently for a chance to get inside the store. It wasn't clear if the store actually had the electronic jewels or if standing in the line would only help you get one IF a delivery came. Either way, about half the people in the line had their previous iPhones out in clear view while waiting for the opportunity to buy a new one. I'm not sure if this says more about people wanting or needing an iPhone less than a year after the original. Did their first one suck that bad and need replacing, or will the new features change their life to the extent that they must buy a new one, even though they're not eligible for an upgrade yet, since we all know they have bought a new phone in the past year or less. Either way, I guess there are worse places to spend a Sunday afternoon, but to stand in roped-off lines like tech-cattle seems a bit demeaning. This was validated/justified by an older gentleman's assessment and general confusion as to why there was a line in the middle of the mall that didn't involve Santa Claus or cinnamon rolls. He finally concluded, "Oh they're at the iPod store." And it all made sense.