Ok, are you ready for the absolute stupidest article about football that you could ever read? Maybe it's the stupidest article about anything ever written, but that can be left up to you. Before going any further, feel free to read through the article in question.

Ok, a little prefacing. Tennessee's football program has been down for the past few years, both on and off the field. Just a quick summary:

-Franklin County, Tennessee native that led the school to the national championship was unceremoniously run out of his job after the 2008 season.

-The sting of running off a "local legend" was soothed by hiring the epitome of an "outsider", a young and brash California boy.

-The new guy proved to possess more gum-flapping and controversy-creating skills than coaching ones. His first season ends with mediocre results, to put it generously.

-A flurry of off-field problems plague the team. Problems with grades, guns and such become about as common as wins.

-New coach quickly jumps ship when given a chance to return to California and lead another dirty program.

-A new new coach is hired...from Louisiana Tech. At least he has a good name for SEC football.

-Throughout all of this, the SEC has gone from being probably the best conference in the nation for college football to clearly the best. Three different teams in the league have won the last 4 national championships and UT has not even been in the proximity of national championship discussions.

So, back to the present and this asinine article. The author blindly dives into the notion that fans of college football need to read the newspaper in order to form an emotional attachment to their teams. This might be an effective path if you're just trying to reach the least interested fans. However, those sort of people probably aren't the ones reading something like Go Vols Xtra on August 22.

One doesn't have to be a UT fan to acknowledge that UT has a passionate fan base that will gladly fill up Neyland Stadium every time the team takes the field. They already know where their program is and where they want it to be. Furthermore, they are probably football-savvy enough to know that simply hating your opponents, rivals and detractors does not really amount to very much anywhere, much less in the most competitive league in the nation.

At first, it seems like maybe the author is simply trying to remind the reader that things can change and its best to always look forward because, just as Alabama has proven over the past few years, just because a program is down doesn't mean it has to stay there. But then he starts dredging the river of past regrets and failures for whatever he can find. Lane Kiffin? Yes, absolutely hate him. Alabama? Sure. Florida? Them too.

Who else? Charles Woodson? Uh, yeah, go ahead and hate him too because he won an individual award over a UT player when most of the current UT players were barely old enough to hold a football. Kansas State? They must be hated because a player from the state of Kansas chose to transfer there from UT after the most recent coaching change.

And for the kicker...hate all of North Carolina's opponents this year. Not because one of those opponents is an SEC team (LSU), but because UT bought themselves out of a game against UNC each of the next two seasons. The hope is that UNC will turn out to be really great and UT can feel good about themselves for not having to play a tough team next season. Never mind the fact that they can't wiggle out of their usual conference games against the likes of Alabama, Florida and Georgia. But yeah, its better to wish success for North Carolina (by hating their opponents) than think about that other stuff.

Just in case you need a different team to hate for each day of the week, throw in Bowling Green and Duke. Seriously? The only reason a UT fan should even know these teams exist is if they're looking for an easy non-conference game. The reason for hating these teams is because their current head coaches' previous gigs were as UT assistants. How dare they? Don't they know that the pinnacle of coaching is to be an assistant at UT, where they can serve under 3 different head coaches in 3 years and have articles like this written by local newspaper guys? Poor Duke must really feel bad knowing that UT fans should hate them for two reasons now (they play UNC).

As difficult as it seems, this article almost makes you feel bad for UT. Much of what is said is true, but this article was written right in the middle of Fall practice. Surely there are better things that could have been researched and put into words. The fans deserve better. This team might be their biggest "escape" from "real" life and they shouldn't have their heads filled with ideas of who to hate. They need to support their team and look forward, even if all they have to look forward to is another season of SEC mediocrity. The comments at the bottom of article indicate that most of the UT fans that read the article weren't affected by it, at least not in the way it intended.

Maybe there's actually signs of life on ol' Rocky Top after all.

Some bands are just better than the others.

Breaking news!

A former member of the Cleveland Cavaliers will be joining the Miami Heat for the upcoming (in November, that is) NBA season! This easily recognizable NBA veteran couldn't quite reach the elusive goal of an NBA Championship during his years in Cleveland, but this guy is so good that he managed to be an NBA All-Star without even playing college basketball! Yes, that's right, Zydrunas Ilgauskas is now a Heat!

After all, what goes better with this...



...than this?

As that last one make a brief mention of, soccer (there's nothing wrong with calling it soccer in this country) has really grabbed the attention of the world lately. Well, it always has the attention of the world, but right now it has the attention of the world's "leading" country. As the most populous country in this year's World Cup, the US theoretically should have the most support. However, this seems to have only been the case very recently...since Wednesday morning to be exact.

Landon Donovan's goal was truly one of those watershed moments that makes sports so relevant. Yes, it is just a game and yes, it was being played literally around the globe from the US population, but people are looking for something to be happy and proud about these days. Even though oil still gushes into the Gulf of Mexico and generals are still being replaced in Afghanistan, the US has found a reason for this.

Just as ABC's Wild World of Sports extolled, with the thrill of victory comes the agony of defeat. The World Cup has provided striking examples of that as well. To whit:

-North Korean players potentially being sent to work in state-owned coal mines upon their return home after a terrible performance in South Africa?

-The French national team returning as a disgrace to their country and potentially subject to physical violence at the hands of their countrymen?

So yes, the US is riding high right about now, so its important to get this posted before their next match tomorrow against Ghana. All those skeptics that thought soccer was nothing more than 90 minutes of pretty boys not scoring any goals have been trumped by a pretty boy scoring a goal after 90 minutes of play had already elapsed without a single goal. Everyone is OK with that right now and that itself is OK right now.

Finally, let it be known that while soccer might not be able to clean up the Gulf or find Osama, it is trying to start with domestic issues, although with somewhat mixed results.

Signs you're getting old:

1. True Blood comes on at 8pm, yet True Blood comes on too late because its a Sunday night.

2. Guilt causes you to go for a run in 95 degree weather, even though the guilt was brought on by something as mundane as almonds.

3. Sunday morning trips to the grocery store are quite fulfilling.

4. A perfectly good weekend night can be soured because you insist on checking work email.

5. Hanging out with your boss past midnight is an acceptable way to spend a Friday night.

6. You decide to spend a sunny afternoon watching exclusively German-language films on Netflix Instant.

7. The NBA Finals are over and you could care less, even though the world would be a better place if the Lakers didn't win and validate the celebrity groupies that make watching their games feel like an episode of Access Hollywood.

7b. You know, despite this year's strong ratings, the NBA Finals used to be amazing. It fits with the theme of this list/entry to say that things just aren't like they were back in the day. For pure excitement and showmanship, Kobe just isn't Jordan and Rajon Rondo is really the only guy on the Celtics that is remotely interesting. If only Pau Gasol played on a different team, he could be in the discussion for favorite NBA player.

8. The World Cup is incredibly interesting, but not necessarily because of your past or present interest in soccer, but the political and socio-economic dynamic at play. Not to mention the fact that you can wake up at 7am and watch it live.

9. You voluntarily go into work on a Saturday morning and actually think of the benefits more so than the negatives of doing so.

10. You blog about this sort of stuff.

You know, with such unfortunate events transpiring around the globe, such as the Gulf oil leak and the deaths of Gary Coleman and Dennis Hopper, it is nice to get a nice deep breath of fresh air. Today's breath of fresh air came courtesy of the greatest baseball team in existence.

The odds were not looking good early on. The Indians have admittedly, yet not surprisingly, been struggling quite a bit this season. They were on the road for a 4-game series. At Yankee Stadium. Against the Yankees, obviously. The Yankees have by far the highest payroll in baseball and one of the best records in the league to boot. The Indians are far behind in both areas.

To add insult to injury (or whatever), the starting pitcher was the Yankees was none other than CC Sabathia, the former Indians ace that, after a half-season layover with Milwaukee, cashed in his excellent years in Cleveland with a ridiculous contract in New York. So, as it stood, the entire Indians' roster makes $60 million a year, while their former teammate, who they were facing, makes about $25 million a year by himself.

Anyway, matters got worse. Already trailing in the 3rd inning, Cleveland's young starting pitcher, David Huff, was struck in the left side of the head by a line drive off the bat of none other than Alex Rodriguez, whose salary of $33 million a year dwarfs even Sabathia's. Huff went straight to the ground, where he lay motionless for several minutes, before being taken off the field on a stretcher, then straight to the hospital.

Well, if you've read this far, surely you can expect what happened next, warranting this entry. Yep, the Yankees scored a couple of runs as a result of Huff's misfortune, then added 6 more runs the next inning and took control of the game...

But, even though the Yankees' lead held at 10-4 in the 6th inning, it was nothing that 9 consecutive runs couldn't overcome. And just as David Huff came out OK after a negative CT scan at the hospital, so did the Indians and their 13-11 victory.

And for just one day in just one ballpark, all was right with the world.

Here's the first installment of a song-by-song breakdown of a relatively new album. Call it a review if you like. First up is the debut from Southampton, England's Band of Skulls, Baby Darling Doll Face Honey.



1. Light of the Morning - this is the first song and probably the most well-known song on the album, if any of the songs could be classified as "well known". It's definitely a catchy song and does a good job of setting the table for the rest of the album. It sounds like it should be in a TV car commercial, which it is. Pontiac, maybe?

2. Death by Diamond and Pearls - So yeah, by this point, if you haven't picked up on a similarity between this band's sound and Jack White's various bands', you're not listening. It's not a blatant rip off or anything, but definitely present. Be it the vocal styles, the loose and gritty guitars or the prominent drum pounding, it's there.

3. I Know What I Am - Ok, a lot going on here. This song is sassy and while that's OK, this definitely sounds like a song that could get old fast. There's some female vocals entering the picture. None of these people sound British, but they are. The chorus has a very catchy hook and almost sounds disco-ish. Yeah, this song differs from the first two, but not necessarily in a good way.

4. Fires - Ah, so there's the album title in the first line of the song. Kinda strange name that might could have been improved upon. "If you bring the water, I'll bring the matches...'cause we are fires in the night." Not really sure what that means, but it sounds really great in that really great anthemic way. This song does that loud/soft juxtaposition more than any of the others so far and it works quite well. This is easily the best song on the album so far and will probably stay that way through the end.

5. Honest - Female lead vocals and a legitimate softer/slower song. This sorts sounds like a completely different band at this point. That is usually seen as a good thing, but it throws off cohesion a little. This song actually sounds like Marketa Irglova's songs with The Swell Season. That and somber singing girl songs in musicals...like Les Mis or something. It sounds like it's being sung by a girl alone in a garden (or maybe a fire escape), looking at the stars at night.

6. Patterns - More the sass. There's a weird counting thing going on that plays in the "pattern" theme of the song. The dance beats are automatically catchy, but it really does border on 1970s disco at times and that's just not very comforting.

7. Hollywood Bowl - Yeah, the disco-y thing is back and must just be a part of their sound. Since "Fires" has none of that and is easily the best song, maybe they could get away from that. This song has a lot of that "rock n roll lifestyle" element in it. Seems like a lot of innuendo and sleaziness going on. Those "hey"'s are surely quite a hit during a live performance. The end of the song takes on a sort of jazzy/bluesy sound and then rocks out, which is fairly redeeming. Might should have pulled that out sooner.

8. Bomb - A ticking clock starts this song because it's called "Bomb". Not very clever. The song isn't terribly clever either, but doesn't sound bad...except when the ticking clock returns. The album definitely has a lot of guitars in it, which is nice.

9. Impossible - Pretty unremarkable whining at the beginning, until it starts to sound like Queen, which is pretty fun. More nonsensical lyrics, though, like "I am a man 'cause you said I am...Yeah". Thankfully no disco beats on this one and some of those "textures" that seem to often be mentioned in album reviews.

10. Blood - Swampy blues that sounds like it should be on an episode of True Blood. The female vocals seem much more variant than the male vocals on this album. The male vocals just sound like a variation on Jack White all the way through, while the female mixes it up and can't quite be pegged as easily.

11. Dull Gold Heart - This sounds like it should be sung at the Ryman. The album is definitely all over the place, but the good moments outweigh the bad by far. If they can just stay away from the disco dance beat sass, they should be fine. If the whole album could sound like the conclusion of this song, this could be album of the year.

12. Cold Fame - Yes, the epic closer and it's quite epic, as debut albums go. Starts off with a smoky lounge singer thing, but then gets back to some of that "Fires" sound that works so well. More "clever" lyrics with "I know my place, but it don't know me". What does it actually mean for your place to not "know you"? It's a little disconcerting because of the repetition of what sounds like "Cocaine in my veins, it's OK because I know it's the best for me". Clearly, given the name of the song, "cocaine" and "cold fame" sounds too much alike. Regardless, the echoing harmonies work here quite well

Overall, a solid debut. Actually, more than solid. It's pretty good and shouldn't be something that grows stale quickly. That might be where the variety of the album comes in handy. If you like guitars, almost equal parts male/female vocals and almost a little too much sass, you could really like this album Even if you don't like the sass, there's more than enough to make this a worthwhile listen.

Ugh, you probably want a number to quantify this review, right? Well, you won't get tenth-of-a-point precision like on Pitchfork or a 100-point scale like on Paste. How about a 0-10 scale with half-point increments? Does that work?

Let's go with 8/10. Could have been higher.

Best of London, April-May 2010:

Cadbury Cream Egg McFlurry. Note the sugary sweet deliciousness that is the "yolk":


The Hole in the Wall, 5 Mepham Street, Waterloo, London:



Unfortunately, dinner had already been eaten before this was discovered. Fortunately, dinner was great and cameras exist:



Without question, the absolute highlight of the trip:

The desire to finish something can lead a person to do strange things. Be it spent finishing the first season of a rather creepy TV show or making headway on some rather exciting job-related tasks, time can just slip away on a Wednesday night.

Once enough time slips by, Wednesday night becomes Thursday morning and Thursday morning becomes another day at work.

It's nice how life allows everyone to finish things on a regular basis. Everyone gets to finish a day, a week, a year, etc. Unfortunately, that is hardly enough to satisfy that urge that leads to Dexter nights and Phase I nights. People like to set out a course for themselves, then attempt to navigate it. If they're successful, it's very affirming. If not, regret and self-doubt take over.

So what will it be? Sleepiness, apparently.

It's April Fools Day. Sometimes fun things come about on this day, but usually it's annoying. A laugh is a good thing, but scaring/worrying the beegees out of someone is less noble. Regardless, Happy April Fools Day to all. Was that shred of friendliness an AFD trick? The world may never know.

Regardless, here's something fun from AFD2010.

And, just to balance that, here's something that is unfortunately not a part of AFD.