At this moment, what is going through the mind of the dude smoking a cigarette on the balcony across the breezeway from this hotel room? Ideas:

1. I love the beach, where visible buttcracks are much more generally accepted.

2. Tuesday is alright for fighting.

3. This cigarette is far more delicious than the one 5 minutes ago.

4. Would a Yosemite Sam or Tasmanian Devil tattoo better characterize my personality?

5. The music of Trapt and Disturbed really speaks to me.

6. I need to talk to my financial planner about a 401(k).

7. Is it still considered "domestic abuse" if your girlfriend is from another country?

8. I wonder what kind of cargo I could fill these cargo shorts with?

9. If anyone told me to put a shirt on, I'd be ready to tussle.

10. Who is this sicko that keeps glancing out his window at me?

Truer words have never come from the wall of a small barbershop from childhood:

"Poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."

On average, how many times could this be said in a given day?